Double the Confusion on my Riddles
by injustice.leauge
Summary: Riddler and Two Face have been dating for about a year now, and so far, it's going 'good.' Other than their in and out trips to Arkham Asylum, they're always together. Harvey loves Riddler with his hole body, not just one side, and Edward loves Two Face, even though he's not so good at solving riddles.
1. Sad Little Riddles

RiddlerTwoFace

"Baby? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine Harvey." Riddler mumbled back, resting his chin on his hand.

"Scoot over, you bastard." Two Face tauntingly shoved Edward over and slipped next to him on their throne-of-a-chair.

But this time Edward didn't smile back or try to shove him off again, just sat there staring at the picture of Batman and Bruce Wayne they had hung up. The pictures had multiple knives and darts in it, as well as explicit messages written in paint with arrows pointing at their faces. "I want him dead... Harvey. I want him dead!" Edward yelled, not pouty or anything like he normally was when discussing Bruce.

"Eddie. Calm down." Two Face kissed the top part of his ear lobe and Edward shrunk back down into the heavily cushioned seat.

He sniffled. "He rejected my creation. My AMAZING creation, Harvey! It was REVOLUTIONARY, and he REJECTED it."

"Hun, he was a big stupid bitch to reject your beautiful mind. You know what, let's get some ice cream and kidnap Bruce Wayne. How would you like that?"

Edward looked up like a lost puppy at his boyfriend, and a small smile slit across his lips, his eyes destroying any unhappiness whatsoever and replacing it with a form of hated passion. "Ice cream AND kidnapping the Bruce-man?!"

"Ice cream AND kidnapping the "Bruce-man," you are correct, hun." Now, Two Face had always disliked calling him "Bruce-man," but put up with it for his love's sake. Eddie got angry VERY easily, and could shut himself in a room writing riddles for days until Harvey apologized. So it was best not to make him upset by saying "Bruce Wayne" or "Wayne" or "Bruce" when Edward was calling him "Bruce-man." Hey, every relationships had its bumps.

Riddler squealed in delighted and jumped up. "ICE CREAM AND BRUCE-MAN! ICE CREAM AND BRUCE-MAN!" He frolicked and cartwheeled around the room chanting about ice cream and the Bruce-man.

Harvey cracked a smile and walked over to the fridge. "What type do you want, Eddie?"

"STRAWBERRY WITH A SIDE OF BRUCE-MAN, HARV!!" Eddie did back-spring and his himself against the wall. His legs threw over his head in an awkward position.

Harvey chuckled and plopped a couple strawberry ice cream scoops onto a cone. "C'mere before it melts."

Eddie rolled back over and somersaulted over to Harvey. He sat on his knees, grabbed the cone, and speedily licked it up.

Two Face walked over the demonic side of the cave and figured out where and when they should attack while Riddler ate his childishly loved iced cream.

"It's , Bruce normally comes home at 7... the butler died a couple eh... Weeks ago, so Bruce should be emotionally distraught..." Two Face continued on.

Riddler skipped over with a confused, "huh?"

Harvey sighed and pulled a white board out and wrote this:

Bruce - butler = sad

Sad Bruce = nightmare

Nightmare = no sleep

No sleep = fatigue

Fatigue = less ability to fight

Less fighting = easier capture

Easier capture = quicker death

He scribbled in large red letters.

Riddle gasped. "BRILLIANT. You're bloody brilliant!"

The big red letters were a death warning to Bruce. To Batman, although they didn't know.


	2. Popcorn and Silver Spoons

Riddler and Two Face were in Wayne Manor raiding the huge fridge.

"Harvs?" Riddler took some popcorn out of the microwave.

"Ridds?" Two Face starting using a steak knife to cut a literal silver spoon in half.

"Do we really have to just kill Bruce? Could we maybe have a little fun with him first?"

Harvey Dent nodded. "Whatever you'd like." As they continued waiting, dirty thoughts rushed through his mind.

Bruce, positioned on the floor, naked. His beloved Edward doing as he pleased to him.

Oh God.

Riddler was perhaps the most gayest man in the freaking universe. A chance with an utterly helpless Bruce Wayne, geez. Say hello to hell, Bruce.

Harvey was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the door open. "Ed."

Edward Ngyma silently put the popcorn bowl back. "Let's dance, Bruce-Man."


End file.
